Living in the Continuous Drama of Life

It is fascinating to see how many people prefer to make drama out of everything in their life. The drama I am talking about here is in a negative sense.  I wonder if they are even aware of the impact this has on their mental and emotional well-being? Never mind their relationships with others.

Case studies

Tina always sounds like Goldilocks and the three bears: no matter what happens in her life nothing is ever just right. It is too this or too that. And usually there is a lot of drama in the way she describes it too.  Does she realise that she comes across as a martyr in the way she sees life? The result is that her friends change the subject or move on to something more positive.

Paula sees everything that happens to her as a “major issue”. So when she recounts what is happening in her life, it is all about the drama. Experiences are described with intensity and great emotion. If you share something of your life with her, she reacts with a story ten times more dramatic.  Consequently her friends experience her behaviour as emotionally draining. She seems to be more interested in talking about her latest drama than listening to what her friends’ have to share.

Carrie only focusses on the negative in her life and makes drama out of it all. Is it any wonder that there is always something the matter physically with every family member? Even her children live in a constant state of tension because everything is turned into an “issue”. Traffic is bad at times. Service is poor. There are accidents, etc. But why turn it all into even more drama?

Why are people addicted to drama?

There could be various reasons why people turn every event in their life into drama.

Perhaps it makes them feel more alive. After all, drama increases the secretion of adrenalin. The only thing is that when see everything as drama our adrenal glands begin to work over time. This is fine for a short period of time but not for long. If we continue to live in a state of drama it will impact on our emotional and physical well-being. As a result we can become depressed, anxious or even experience panic attacks.

Some people use negativity to be the center of attention. Little do they realise that friends will start to minimise contact with them. After a while it becomes really boring to face drama every time.

Drama very easily becomes an addiction.  And so you may even find that you get great pleasure out making a melodrama out of your life. But what are the consequences to yourself and relationship with others?

What does drama really indicate?

Turning everything into drama in your life can mean that you have unhelpful coping skills. This is especially the case when it comes to dealing with stressful or difficult situations. Some unhelpful coping patterns include: being a martyr, feeling that whatever you have is not enough, feeling helpless, being self-destructive through negative thinking, etc.

The reality is that life is full of ups and down. Life is imperfect. This is life! So what is the point of making an issue out of the difficult patches? All we are doing is making life more difficult for ourselves. Do we realise this?

It could also be that you are stuck in a negative way of seeing life. Do you see yourself as victim, someone who has no control over their life? Do you enjoy being a bit of a martyr? Does it help to make others feel sorry for you?

Find meaning in your life other than through melodrama. Carina became tired of listening to others’ drama. She made a conscious decision that her peace of mind was more important. And so she reduced contact with the drama people in her life. When she did meet with them she stopped indulging their dramas. Instead she spoke about uplifting events. In fact she went as far as telling some of her friends that she was only interested in hearing good news stories.

Consider coaching if you want to develop a more balanced view of life and constructive coping styles.

Remember what Viktor Frankl said: “The last of human freedoms is the ability to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstance.”

Do you want to survive or thrive? Do you choose stress or peace of mind?

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Posted in Stress.