Couples Therapy Activities for Committed Partners

In couples therapy the therapist will most likely encourage you and your partner to explore ways to strengthen your relationship. However, a list of tasks or “things to do” is not enough. One needs to find ways to deal with underlying issues affecting your partnership.

There are many factors that lead to challenges surfacing in relationships. Therefore there is no “quick fix”. Restoring a marriage is a process and it usually takes quite a bit of time in couples therapy.

Very few marriages are spared when it comes to challenges or bumpy patches, etc. So the aim of couples therapy is to make the relationship robust enough to handle the inevitable tests that life brings.

Here are some suggestions to consider:

Spend time with your partner

When we start off in a relationship we spend a great deal of time with our partner. We talk a lot and do things together often to the exclusion of other friendships. Once we are married, this may slowly begin to shift.

Take note of whether you and your partner spend adequate time together. Are you both so busy with your own lives that you spend the minimum time with each other?

Think about doing activities in which both of you are interested. Or have a ritual of having supper together or going for breakfast every weekend. See this as time to catch up with each other.


Continue to talk about those aspects that matter to you. Share your inner world with your partner but without burdening them. Keep the communication channels open so that your partner knows how you feel, what your needs are, your dreams and aspirations. The purpose is not to have your partner solve your problems but to share more of yourself with them.

Talk about issues that bother you. Unless you do, the frustration may build up and reach exploding point when this could have been prevented.

Create special times

Create memorable times and moments. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day demands. Soon we find we lose that special connection we had with our partner. So guard against this and find ways to have special times with your partner.

This becomes even more important once children arrive. It is easy to find reasons why you need to focus all your attention on your children. Before you know it they leave home and you and your partner have little in common!

So ensure that you and your partner have regular dates where it is only the two of you. When you go out as a couple make sure that your attention and focus is on the two of you. If you spend the whole time worrying or talking only about the children, you will miss the chance to strengthen the bond you have.

See this time as an opportunity to check in with your partner: how do they feel about what is going on in their life? What is important to them and would they like to achieve, experience, etc.

Balance talking with reflecting

It is easy to think we need to communicate or vent all our emotions in our relationship. Dumping your frustrations on your partner will affect them negatively at some time. They may begin to distance themselves or “switch off”. Instead learn to manage your emotions. Take time to think about the impact of what and how you express yourself in your relationship. Be mindful of jeopardising the bond with your partner.

Retain some independence

Both partners need time to pursue their own interests and do what energises them and feeds their soul. We spend so much time dealing with daily demands that we may forget who we are in the process!

Therefore it is important for both you and your partner to have your independent hobbies. This enables you to replenish yourself and maintain your own identity. As difficult as this may be once you have children, make some time each week that is “Me time”.

Consider couples therapy

It is becoming more commonplace for couples to go for couples therapy. It is preferable to go when you begin to experience problems. If you leave it too late, one partner may have reached a point where they are no longer motivated to work at issues.

Couples therapy provides a safe space with an objective third party. It is important to have realistic expectations. Both partners need to be open and honest. Couples therapy is not in instant solution or one where the therapist will play referee or take sides.

The aim is to help a couple discover common ground again and develop constructive ways to communicate with each other.

If you feel your emotional well-being is affected by problems in your marriage consulting an independent psychologist or counsellor will be of definite benefit.

Posted in Relationships.