Masculine and feminine energies have nothing to do with gender. Instead this refers to which side of our brain is more dominant. There is on-going research into how the brain really functions. What is clear though is that we require both sides of the brain to function effectively.
The path to self-discovery
This post is intended to share how one person’s life has been shaped by these energies. Terena was quite laid back as a child. She used to spend hours daydreaming and being in a world of her own. When she started university she became more focussed and driven to achieve good results. So it seems as if there was a slight shift from her feminine energy of going with the flow to the masculine energy of achievement.
She then found work in a large organisation which was largely male driven at the time. Soon she received feedback that she needed to display more initiative. This was the beginning of a long period of major emphasis and reward for displaying more masculine energy.
It was a matter of time and Terena become a typical A Type personality: driven, focussing on results, being an over-achiever and solving all kinds of problems. If someone wanted to get something done, she was the “Go to” person. These are all aspects of masculine energy.
For a considerable time Terena thrived in this environment. There was a certain adrenaline rush that was rather exhilarating. It spoke to her strong need for independence. But after a few years dissatisfaction crept in and work felt more like a burden. Terena realised she was purely a resource and that the company cared little about her as a person.
In addition, she discovered that although her newly developed strong masculine energy worked really well at work, it was taking its toll on her relationships. Various boyfriends accused her of a “relationship by objectives.” Needless to say they escaped!
Gradually Terena felt disconnected from herself. She felt locked into a system that rewarded the very side of her that no longer fed her soul. As a result, Terena yearned for something else. Over a few years she began to explore other areas that truly interested her and for which she had no time before.
Only years later did she recognise this time as a period of reconnecting with her feminine energy. It was now time to explore, go with the flow, to be more creative and to make space to connect with her inner voice. She still performed at work but instead kept some of her energy for herself. She realised she was not a “human doing“, but rather a “human being”.
Finding the balance
By now Terena was married and a mother of two children. Her happiness now came from raising her children as opposed to meeting deadlines and managing projects. Experiencing and savouring time with her two little girls was the new driver in her life. As a result, for the first time in a long time she felt contented. Economically it was not possible for her to become a full time mother. However, she managed to retain some of her energy for herself and no one at work even noticed!
She learnt to pace herself, to only take on work that involved personal growth and to assert herself. Gone were the days of helping others out at the expense of her well-being.
It seems as if Terena needed to experience the extremes of masculine and feminine energies to find a balance. Because being driven was ingrained in her for such a long time, she consciously works at pacing herself. One of her daughters is very direct and she will tell her mother she is not making time to play with them. Fortunately Terena sees this as a sign to ensure that she keeps greater balance in her life.
The corporate world is very good with its performance management processes to keep women locked into their masculine energy. But the tides are changing and many women are no longer willing to sacrifice their souls.
If you feel you would like to re-connect with the real you or explore finding balance between your masculine and feminine energies, consider coaching.
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